See that robot over there? He looks pretty cute, right? WRONG. ROBOTS EAT PEOPLE, OKAY? And for this, they must all be killed. Except for this one. I’m gonna spare you, so pl-please DON’T KILL ME, PLEASE ”Boost!” PLEASE D-DON’T KILL ME! Ooooooh. He sacrificed himself to save me! ”Please…” Go on without me… Alright. What? [ laughs ] She actually did it. What a fuckin’ dickhead. Disneyworld! Cool! Aw, man– What the fuck is this? Robots at Disneyworld? ”Let’s be happy together!” These sick fucks. I’m gonna have to kill every single robot here. Fucking robots eating people and shit, none of these stupid ass robots even tall enough to ride any of the rides! ”Hostiles!” KILL ‘EM. ”I am not hostile.” KILL HIM. ”9S.” ”Hm? ”Stop calling me ”ma’am.” ”Huh?” ”There’s no need to be so for– ”Hm?” ”Name’s Jackass.” ”Huh?” What the fuck is this now, robots? Huh? Some kind of satanic ritual? ”They all have white flags.” ”Looks like they really don’t want to fight.” KILL ‘EM ALL! WOO! DUMBASS ROBOTS, HAHAHA! Shoulda never put up a stupid ass flag. ”Stop! Do not kill!” I watch Discovery Channel. I know you eat people, okay? See the white flags? That’s how you know they’re about to feast on human flesh! The white flag means we surrender. Kill this guy. ”Are you there?” Uh huh. ”Can you hear me?” Yeah. ”Hellooo?” Hey. ”Go ahead and adjust your settings so you can hear me, alright?” Okay. ”Adjust the settings until you can hear my voice.” There. That should be good. Shit. Self-destruct? Oh, definitely turn that on. WHY DID I TURN THIS ON? OH GOD! That’s what the self-destruct does. Okay. ”You must be the new scouts we heard about.” ”Well, I’m sure my people will have plenty of information for you.” ”Please, feel free to ask them anything you like.” Okay, thank you. Uh, let’s talk to this guy. Oh wow! Extremely helpful! Thank you very much! “Child.” “Child.” What the fuck? The robots are trying to make a baby! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY WEINERS! Stupid ass fucking robots! They pissed me off! The fuck is this now, what are they doing? Eww! Robots just made a naked Sephiroth. ♪ What a thrill… ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa. These robots are too big. That’s not regulations size. There we go. Now that’s lookin’ better. ”Is this.. their king?” The robot king! QUICK! K– Hey! That’s what I was gonna do. Oh my god.. OH! KILL HIM! SHOOT HIM! ”Hey there, guys! What’s up?” SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD! ”This thing’s weird, 2B. Let’s kill it.” ”Wait, what? N– Good idea.” KILL HIM! ”NOOOOOO!” Finally, it all comes down to this. THE ROBOT GOD. LORD GIGAMUNGUS. COME ON, MAN! FACE ME! I beat him! You get to play as the robots now?! Why is he gettin’ oil? They drink human blood.. I don’t know.. This is– this is weird, this– I don’t want to be the robot anymore. How do I, uhh, h– He’s so fuckin’ slow. Come on, man. Can I go back to bein’ a prostitute now? Oh, what if I– what if I do the jump? Do the jump, robot. Yeah. Fuckin’ piece of– Uh oh. ”WHY DID YOU KILL MY BROTHER!?” I thought it would be funny! Why’d you gotta take it out on me? Something really neat about this game. You can actually go and disable parts of your HUD to make room for upgrades. So… I mean… Do we really need, y’know, damage… save points… Do we really need that text? Nah. Objective, minimap. Nah. Data, nah. Skill. HP. No. OS chip. ”An android’s central system. Removal means death.” Do we really need that, though? Uh oh. I beat the game, guys! Oh my god. ”Are they… eating them?” I FUCKIN’ KNEW IT!