Well, the benefit of me being butt-ass naked is that I blend in with the desert landscape a little bit, so that’s nice… Yeah, I only got ten shots total so if I bring one person down, I’m gonna be shocked. Tyler: Aim for their butt, that’s their weakest point. Mark: Now, see, I-I just think you’re telling lies, man. You know, I-I don’t want to call you out here right on the live stream, but I’m pretty sure you’re lying to me. Yeah. Tyler: Didn’t you- Butt shots are the deadly wound! KABLAMO Tyler: I have no gun. Mark: Yeah, no gun, okay, well that’s- that doesn’t bode well for you and that doesn’t bode well for me But as long as we stick together, we go ass-to-ass, we should be fine. Oh- reloadin’, reloadin’! Tyler: NOPE *punch punch* Mark: Yeah, yeah good, good good good good Tyler: *laughing* Mark: Uh-oh… UH-OH… Tyler, you might *PUNCH* *hysterical laughing* “Why am I still naked,” someone said. Uh, because I choose to be, and because it’s the most natural state of being. The Korean ‘fro will live on in infamy. Hiyah! Huh-huh HIYAH! HiyaAah Shouldn’t have cut your hair off, it just lowers your defenses BUuUuUH Tyler: I’ll be on- I’ll be on top of- of Mark: Heh, yea you will, yea you will, man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Tyler: Aww yea Mark: YE HEA HA HA HA ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Mark: Oh, S-12K, right here Tyler: Oh? Right on me. Tyler: Yes. *DRAMATIC STAB* Mark: WOAH, I thought- oh my god you scared the piss outta me. I can’t come to you, I- uh oh Tyler: I’m down. Mark: Oh, shit, well, I’m in trouble here. Well, this is gonna be a problem, huh? Uhhh Tyler: Do- Do the- *punch* Mark: AHHH Tyler: Nooo Mark: Je- Jesus christ You scared me!!! He startled me so badly! *laughing* Look at dis douche, look at this fucking douche here… Look at dis fuckin douche You seeing this guy? He’s got- he’s got an outfit that just makes you want to punch him right in the face. I mean everything about him, just I hate. I don’t know- I don’t know just something about him just channel all my hate into the one- One person standing in front of you right now. If- if there’s someone that I- if I could only kill one person just- He blew a kiss to me! Oh my god, He’s- he’s pretty much done forever. Oh boy… I’m so glad we’re in agreement about everything here. Okay. I’m down. I got first-aid, nobody touch me, I can heal ALL wounds AND bandages??? AND painkillers?!?!?! Nobody stands a chance Tyler: Double first aid?
Mark: Found another first aid kit- O one more first aid kit! Mark: Found another first aid kit- Oh, one more first aid kit!? Everybody sound the party- WHA- FO- SODA?! That’s not good, hang on, let me, oh I hear the sounds of war… Lemme throw my body out of this window here. Mark: Wait this is NOT THE FIRST- *Laughs* Oh I was on the second story!! *Tyler laughing*
Mark: Wait this is NOT THE FIRST *Laughs* Oh I was on the second story!! *Tyler laughing* Mark: Who’s doin that? *distressed Tyler* Mark: AH *shoots* AH Someone’s here! Hang on-hang-I’m outie-I’m outie. Tyler: Just slam the door on his face. Mark: I was gonna, but then I thought better about it because I’m- *PAUNCH* Mark: AHHHH Tyler: OH NOOO
Mark: You just told me not to slam doors!!! Mark: You just told me not to slam doors!!! That was someone else. *laughing* Tyler: Oh, I see you Mark: Oh, there you are. How could I miss the only other naked man on this entire island… Hey, lemme up on your box, man. Thank you. Mark: Ahh, there we go… That’s nice, uhh, just getting a nice tan… Tyler: Aww, it won’t let me emote at you…
Mark: Ahh, there we go… That’s nice, uhh, just getting a nice tan… Tyler: Aww, it won’t let me emote at you… Mark: It wouldn’t let you E-mote at me? Tyler: Yeah… Mark: What does that mean? Tyler: So, to emote in PUBG, you just use the umladé… Mark: The um- The “umladé”..? *laughing* Tyler: The umladé… Mark: We’ll us- we’ll use the umladé Tyler: Where are we going??? Mark: No, no, no, we’re not skipping past this, nah nah nah, *Tyler laughing*
Mark: No, no we’re not skipping past this, nah nah nah, you’re staying RIGHT here We’re talking about what- What button is the umladé button? *laughing* Tell me please. Tyler: The little swirly dude Mark: The swirly dude… Tyler: Next to the 1… *both dying* Tyler: Alright, we’re going to Los Higos. Mark: You talkin’ about the tilde? Oh boy. Tyler: Oh, yeah, the tilde, that’s the word. Mark: Let’s do dis, man, let’s do dis… For Umladé! Dude my sing- favorite singer’s coming to town, Umladé, have you ever heard of her??? *laughing more* Nah, I bet you wouldn’t. Tyler: Everything I create now is gonna be called Umladé… Mark: Umladé… That’s your- that’s the name of your fan base right, the Umladé? Isn’t that it? Tyler: Coming up your stairs. Mark: You’re coming up my stairs? *DRAMATIC STAB* Mark: AHHH *Tyler laughing* *glass breaking* Mark: oOh fuck Tyler: That was me… Mark: God damn it, you scared me so badly! Tyler: I’ve got an “umpee” (UMP) Mark: I’ve got a SCAR… Tyler: Well, don’t brag about your battle wounds, geez… Mark: I- Hehahaha AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *Gunshots* Tyler: NOPE. Mark: Where’s that? Tyler: I got ker-fucked first Mark: Where? *Breaking glass* Where? AHH BEHIND ME Tyler: Yea Mark: Ugggh fuck. You want to become part of the Umladé gang? Subscribe, ring that bell if you want to be part of the Umladés, because we Umladés, we know how to have fun. Le do de da de da… Tyler: El… El Pozo Mark: El Pozo- We’re never gonna be able to make it all the way to El Pozo! Tyler: Fine, we’ll do Military. Mark: W- We’re never gonna be able to make it all the way to Military!!! Mmmhmmm…. *I n h a l e* *E x h a l e* The sweet smell of death. HUU.. BOOM! I got a trench coat! “There’s no way I can lose!” – Markiplier 2018 I hear someone… Tyler: Really far away from you Mark: NOPE It’s this guy right here Well, okay, if I just hit the stairs. It didn’t say my symbol was blocked! This guy in my house, I’m coming out the window in the back, towards you, I’m just gonna fuckin’ bail on that shit. Mark: OH HELLO *PUNCH* Mark: Ahh shit, I got fucked. Some guy was right- Ooo double-teamed… Ow. “ThErE’s No WaY i CaN lOsE!” Don’t worry guys, I killed the stairs. You’re all worried about the stairs Oh. Pfft, nope. *laughing* Yeah, you’re fucked, so… Tyler: NOOO!!! I just ran over your body “Why are your characters half-naked?” Um, excuse you- ?? Don’t judge… No. You’re not part of the naked gang. No. Nuh-uh, you’re not part of the naked gang. No, no, no, no, see? You ain’t doing nothing to me. You ain’t doing nothing. *punch punch punch* You ain’t doing shit, you ain’t doing shit, you ain’t doing SHIT, YOU AIN’T DOING SHIT! YOU THINK YOU FULL OF SOMETHING? YOU FULL OF SHIT, THAT’S WHAT YOU FULL OF! Huh? I’m gonna beat the snot outta ya! And then I’ll beat the shit outta ya! Oh, okay, alright then. *laughing* That’s someone acknowledging my superiority, my alpha status. You, you are obviously better, that- that’s how that worked, I’m pretty sure. I’m almost 100% positive that’s what that- that meant. Tyler: You wanna hit Farm? Probably that wo– Mark: Do I wanna hit Farm.. Do I want to hit Farm? You KNOW, I wanna hit Farm. Tyler: I figured with your…your farming abilities… Mark: I’ve been– I’ve been getting pretty good at farming. I’m not gonna lie, I’m NOT GONNA LIE- This is me when I’m landing in Farm. Now smash that farm! Smaaash that farm. Oh, I’m gonna lay into that farm. Oh, that farm’s never gonna know what’s gonna gonna hit that farm, and I ain’t gonna call that farm back. You know I’m not- Tyler, you know I’m not, right? Tyler: [At a loss for words] Mark: Yeah man, I never call farm back! Tyler: You’re corn cob. *laughter* wh-hahah Mark: [stealth voice] I’m locked on target. Everybody shush. Everybody crouch down. Everybody be quiet. This is what separates the boys from the men. And I’m indeed a man… AAAAAH WOAH HOW DID YOU KNOW–? OH GET FUCKED AND YOU DO– I dunno who’s over there shooting at me- oW *laughing* GOT ‘EM! [Outro music]